Kids Today

LutheranChik, whose beautifully crafted posts from daily church & home life can't help but warm you up, rarely says anything I actually disagree with...but it happened last week! On March 31 she said that a recent excursion into the world of social networking led her to conclude that kids growing up today are doing it in a world that is worse off than the one she and I grew up in back in the old days. (OK, the 70's.) Maybe she was overstating it or just had a singularly bad experience online. On the other hand, I can understand why somebody would feel that way...I've wandered around FaceBook & MySpace, too...I have three kids (21, 19, 15)...I know there are a lot of crappy things going on out there today. But I think this sentiment is wrong. I left a comment to that effect before I left. Here's what I said:

I don't know, this might sound strange, but I actually think teenagers today are living in a way BETTER world than I grew up in back in the 70's. I'm on MySpace & FaceBook, too. I get that there are a lot of weird things out there today. But my kids (21, 19, 15) hang out with other kids who are different races, cultures, religions, sexual orientation & identity, (dis)abilities, ethnicity, etc. They crack jokes at each other and seem immune to the kind of scary political correctness that inhibits honest conversation between people who are "different" from each other at my age. They are online with people from every continent on the planet, playing live video games with kids speaking different languages, trying to communicate with each other across geography and culture. They seem to breathe more easily because they're not strait-jacketed into stereotypical gender roles when it comes to employment, relationships, etc; they're not in as big a rush to "pair off"; they have options I never dreamed of when I was their age. Believe me, I know the challenges and the trouble they face. They live with me! But if I had to pick a time to be a teenager, I'd pick today in a heartbeat. They're hopeful. They're voting! They're spiritually curious. They're open minded. They would never dream of NOT recycling. I think we ought to give ourselves a little credit for helping to create a world that really IS a better place for our kids. I hope I'm around long enough to see the world they give to THEIR kids.

Somewhere deep in my theological core there's this idea that God's world is both holy and all messed up, at the same time, and that this has always been true. You could probably argue that the world isn't any more or less of a mess than it was when I was my kids' age. But God is in it. And good stuff is happening. Lots of it.

There were some seeds planted back in the 70's - seeds of mutual respect for people who are different and a commitment to equal rights for all and an appreciation for the earth that God has given us and a lack of patience with poverty & hunger - that are bearing fruit in this new day. Those seeds were planted by all kinds of people, including a lot of Christians, some famous like MLK and RFK and others not so famous like my mom and dad. I'm proud of this heritage.

Part of reclaiming the F word, I think, is reclaiming this heritage and building on the good & holy work that has been done before us and inviting our kids & their friends & all of our neighbors to join us in it. When we participate in God's loving mission to bless and save and reconcile and heal and set free the whole creation and everybody in it - the mission Jesus came to announce, to embody, to fulfill, and to invite us into - our work DOES make a difference.

It already HAS.

P.S. OK, since I've pointed out a rare moment of disagreement with LC, I want to also point you to a post that I just about CHEERED for. On March 25 in a post titled, "Occupation: Celebrant," referring to ads place by "Celebrants" (people unaffiliated with any particular religion who are willing and able to officiate at key moments in your life) in a recent Utne reader, LC says she gets why people would look for somebody like this, and wonders what's wrong with the church that we're either unable or unwilling to bless the holy moments in everyday lives:

If my family's beloved pet dies, and we feel the need to mourn that passing, why isn't there more willingness within the Christian community to help do that? Why does the conversation degenerate into frowny-faced debates on whether animals have souls or the worthiness of invoking God's name in connection with a dead dog? Why does someone wanting some sort of ritual marking the sadness and closure of a divorce have to justify that? Why do Christians have to turn everything into a thing?

The best part of the whole post, though, is her answer to one commenter who says the church's job is to "worship God," not bless stuff, willy-nilly, for silly people, and warns LC off her offer to do these blessings for those who want them even though she (tongue-in-cheek, I hope!) knows it might put her "union card" as a lay minister at her church at risk:

We are all called to be agents of God's shalom, God's active healing/reconciling/renewing presence in the world. I can't imagine why you'd find this idea in any way threatening or blasphemous. It's our job, as Christ's hands and voice and heart in the world. And as Bonhoeffer might put it, if actively loving/helping my neighbor puts me in some sort of violation of "the rules," that's a risk worth taking.

Amen to THAT!

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Comments

[Brad <><]

Thank you so much for that reminder that God's world is both messed up and utterly holy. I think we sometimes forget that. This online stuff is a great example. It has gotten us more connected than ever before, but it has also isolated us more than ever before. I think God just might be present here as well.

Thank you as well for pointing us to the discussion about "pet funerals". Actually, it helped bring a good perspective to a conversation I had Sunday morning about music at worship (it seems I'm always getting cornered about the music/songs selected during worship). In being pushed to sing more of the "classics" we came around to "In the Garden" and I shared I had never heard it until internship, where it was a top hit. My seminary training then kicked in and I pointed out that from a Lutheran perspective there is some poor theology in the song. To which it was shared with me, "But it gets people excited about Jesus and their relationship with him, so to me that's good theology." I'm afraid there just might be something very right about what he said... It's just that I hate when other people are right, are smarter than me... and it happens ALL the time.

[Tom in Ontario]

We've never had any large pets in our household (just some birds) but when my sister-in-law's dog died some years ago my young daughter cried and cried and asked if Duchess was in heaven.

I said "the Bible talks about God making a new heaven and a new earth where one day we'll be with God and our loved ones forever and if Duchess was one of our loved ones I'm sure she'll be there too."

I don't know what's wrong with that theology.

KELLY'S RESPONSE: I would say "nothing." I've said similar things to people. What's really interesting, I think, about LC's post is the question: Who in the Christian community has the "right" to bless?? I would say: None of us. But we ALL have a responsibility to be agents of God's blessing in this world. What LC raises for me is the question of what does a priesthood of all believers really mean? Unfortunately, within the clergy-centric ecclesiological structure Lutherans have adopted (and seem increasingly committed to preserving), it means less and less. Reclaiming a truly shared ministry will mean, at this point, "breaking the rules." But if it is for the sake of being a blessing in a world that is hungry for God, I agree with LC (and Bonhoeffer): It's worth the risk.

[Tom in Ontario]

Hey, I agree. I try and try to get the lay people in my church not to depend on the pastor for everything. Since the day I was ordained and began serving here I've always asked "What do you think" or "What have you usually done." Not that it has to be done the way it always was done but that it doesn't have to be up to me.

But then I get a 12 year old to help distribute Holy Communion and the worship committee tells me it seemed somehow wrong to them. I asked why, trying to get into some discussion, and I get "I don't know, I guess it shouldn't, it just did, maybe we just have to get used to it."

I'm a big fan of LutheranChik. I've been reading her blog for years and knew her from beliefnet before she was blogging. She knows her stuff way better than this pastor in a lot of cases. I wish there were a bunch of her in my congregation just itching to break the rules.

[LutheranChik]

Wow...I feel like such a...rebel.;-)

I should add that, so far, the most odd request I've ever gotten was to pull off an ecumencial table grace for a group that included atheists and a Buddhist. And I did it, as much as I really wanted to break into "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest..."