Nobody Follows A Superhero

So, how honest can you be with people and still expect them to respect you? I got two pieces of advice from my advisor when I graduated from seminary in 1989. One of them was: You can't be friends with your parishioners and expect to also be their pastor. Translation: You can't be REAL with people because they won't respect you if they see who you REALLY are. I thought this was terrible advice then. I think so even more now. In fact, I'm prepared to argue that people won't respect, much less follow, you unless you ARE real with them. And today I present Penelope Trunk as exhibit A.

I met Penelope very briefly at the BlogHer conference here in Chicago last July where she led a workshop on increasing traffic to your site, something she knows a little something about since she has 450,000 page views per month. Her blog offers "advice at the intersection of work and life," and she is a voice that tens of thousands of people are listening to when it comes to the pursuit of a successful career, within the context of a whole life. And her blog is one of the few I read almost every day, even when the topic appears at first glance to only marginally relate to anything I'm working on. In fact, starting today, you'll be able to get her headlines and link directly to her blog from THIS website (check out the sidebar). Penelope is a creative thinker with a unique voice who has written a book called Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success, about which the editor of Fast Company magazine has said: "Want to succeed in business? Either read this book or make the people who work for you read it."

Well, yesterday she wrote about her experience at Ground Zero on September 11, 2001. Read it here.

But, as thought-provoking as that post was, the real story was imbedded in the links she included to previous posts she's written...about her struggling marriage, her first day of couple's therapy, the trauma her stay-at-home husband experiences living in her shadow, the pain of co-parenting a child with autism and the toll it is taking on their relationship. She is self-reflective, risky, confessional, heart-breakingly honest. She is REAL.

Almost nothing grates on my nerves more these days than church leaders who still believe they have to act like they walk on water...who still think people expect them to be the smartest, holiest, and most gifted individual at the table...who still act like they are the most important person in the room.

First of all, this game has the effect of splashing ice cold water on the kinds of heart-to-heart conversations we need to be having together if we have any hope of risking change in the process of church renewal for the sake of being a part of what God is up to in the world. It tends to make people feel stupid and scared. And people don't do brave things when they feel that way.

Secondly, it diminishes and maybe even destroys the ability of these seemingly know-it-all, have-it-all-together, would-be-spiritual-superheroes to LEAD. Why? One simple reason: People might cheer for a superhero...but no one ever actually FOLLOWS one. Think about it. The most a superhero can hope for is a good sidekick. But they never have a team. Why would any of us ordinary mortals think that we could do Superman's job for him? We'll wave from the sidelines, root for the good guys to win, and ask for their autograph after the dust has settled. But during the battle? We're going to take cover and hope we don't get hurt in the cross fire.

So, here's a call to all the church leaders out there who actually TOOK the advice of their seminary advisor: Unless you really ARE a superhero...lose the cape, stop pretending to be faster than a speeding bullet, and start figuring out what it means to work together with the rest of us mortals.

Check out Penelope's blog to see how it's done.

Then visit Todd Hiestand's blog - Todd is pastor of an emerging ministry in suburban Philadelphia making a "pastoral confession" - and get a glimpse of what it might look like in the church.